When it really is all in your head
More often than not, the biggest thing standing between me and sleep is my own over-active brain. I could be dead tired, running on little more than a nap, and still my brain insists on staying in overdrive and keeping me awake.
If this sounds even remotely like your experience, keep reading to discover some of my tried and true techniques for clearing my mind before bedtime.
Get out of your mind
I personally find quite a bit of release in putting things down on paper and giving them somewhere else to live than in my brain; there’s just something to be said for physically writing something down in ink on paper that gives me just a little peace.
Since everyone’s brains work a little differently, some of these techniques may be more or less effective for you personally, so make whatever tweaks feel natural or necessary to you!
- If you’re fixating on a specific situation or conversation from your day (which happened to me ALL the time when I worked in an office — hello, coworker drama!) you might want to consider journaling about it before bed.
- When your doomscroll-style thinking is more generalized, try making a list of all the things that frustrated you about the day and then make a list of all the things that went well or that you’re grateful for. Putting things in perspective this way can help remind our brains that it’s not really as bad as it may seem.
- So many of my late nights are spent staring at the ceiling and thinking about all the things I needed to do and didn’t get done and now have to do tomorrow on top of all the other things I have to do tomorrow…as you can see, it spirals pretty quickly. When I’m stuck in this headspace, I’ll take the time to write down a list of all the things I think I need to do from most to least important, and I’ll also write down an estimate of how long I think each task will take. That way, I can look at how much time I’ll have to spend in total to get all my tasks done, and plan accordingly. It also usually helps me realize that it’s not as overwhelming as my brain was making it out to be.
- Simply taking a moment to do some deep breathing or meditation can do wonders for calming erratic thoughts and to ground yourself back in a positive headspace. Oftentimes, I find myself taking quick, shallow breaths while fixating on any of the above topics, which only heightens my physical discomfort and, by extension, worsens my anxiety and creates a vicious cycle. In times like these, I make a concerted effort to focus on my breathing. But instead of focusing on taking deep breaths through my diaphragm, I do the opposite and use my diaphragm to push out every last bit of air in my lungs and hold it that way for a second or two before taking a measured inhale. I’ve found this exercise to be more effective than deep breathing because when I’m in the middle of an anxious episode, even focusing on breathing deeply enough can make things worse. When I do the opposite, and push all the air out, my body’s instincts and need for oxygen kick in and no amount of anxiety can keep me from taking a big gulp of air.
All about trial and error
Possibly the most frustrating thing about not being able to sleep is not knowing why, because if we don’t know why we can’t sleep, we can’t find a solution. This unfortunately means that a lot of what we end up doing is pure trial and error, and we’ll find some tools that work and a lot that don’t.
I’d love to hear your favorite techniques for quieting your mind before bed!
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